Premises are easy. Punch lines are hard.

People are so nice. Always trying to help out with ideas for my stand-up.

After a show in December of 1989, a guy recommended I do a bit about how people love to shake hands.

“Yes, I should,” I agreed, as the man pumped my hand vigorously.

Last week my mother told me that my dad unwrapped a frozen pizza, inadvertently left it on the cardboard tray and stuck the whole thing in the oven. She laughed almost uncontrollably when she got to the part about the fire.

When she recovered long enough to breathe, she said “You should use that in your comedy routine.” Then she started laughing again, as if to convince me of the comedy value inherent to her story.

Over the last 18 years, hundreds of well-meaning people have volunteered their premises to me, and urged me to turn them into comedy gold.

It finally occurred to me that I should turn the whole topic into a comedy bit. All I need is a killer punch line.